Ladies, Ladies Please

Alright ladies let's talk. I have been noticing that a lot of women and girls I know are having self esteem issues. This is to be expected considering what the world is shoving down our throats on a daily basis. 

We should be thinner

We should wear better clothes

We should wear less clothes

We should wear more makeup

We should completely change ourselves 

You get it.

It is outrageous! Why should we do any of these things? We don't have too. 

I am all for being healthy. I like working out, I like feeling good. Who doesn't? I am no for the extremes though. Like working out for several hours a day and only eating protein shakes and spinach.  First off, that is no fun. I want my burgers and shakes please. But I don't want only burgers and shakes. Find a good balance and just feel good about yourself. 

I am comfortable with my body. Why shouldn't I be? I am alive and healthy. What more could I want? To be thin you say? Well, for some silly reason the world is telling people that if you aren't a stick you aren't pretty. WHY SHOULD WE THINK THAT? This makes me so mad. It used to be that curvy women were the pretty ones. Guess what? We are ALL pretty. Look in a mirror; you see that, you are a creation of God. He made you the way that you are for a reason. How could that possibly be ugly? It can't.

I would also like to point out that make up isn’t a necessity. On a day to day basis I generally only wear mascara. Sometimes I don't even do that. And on others days I was go all out! K, not really, I will still look very natural. Also, tinted chap-stick is possibly my favorite thing. All this is just me though. 

I know girls that wear makeup every day. Cool, good for you. If that is what makes you comfy, then go for it!

Here is what I can't stand. When girls wear so much makeup you aren't really sure what they actually look like. You get me? I see people like this, and it's unfortunate. It isn't needed. You don't need to put on a mask to go out in public. That is what you do when you rob a bank, not go to school. 

Better clothes- is there such a thing? If yours have holes in them, then yes. . . If they don't, be happy!! Sure going shopping is great. I do it, maybe too much. But I buy the clothes I want. Not the ones I see others are wearing. Sure I have some clothes that are in style right now. That is because I bought them several weeks ago and that's what all the stores are carrying. I also have clothes that my sister wore in the 90's and I intend to rock those as well. I'm not gonna let anyone stop me from being who I am and wear what I want! So why should someone stop you? Think about it.

The world is trying so hard to make us into people we are not. The sad part is, a lot of us are letting it happen. I have been guilty. I mostly just want more clothes. It's a real problem. But we got this! We can be strong and be true to ourselves! We just need to shut the media out of our bairns when we are getting ready in the morning. We might just have a better day that way!

xoxo

Jennie

Everything's Gonna Be Alright

This has been some of the hardest few months of my life. Trial after trial has been thrown at me. I have never had so much on my plate. I know I am young and this will not be the worst I will see. Trust me, I know. I don't know what will happen in the future and I'll figure it out when I get there. The point is, it's been really rough lately.

I also am horrible at asking for help. I can't seem to swallow my pride and do it. I have done it a few times. Mostly to two people. I still feel like I am bothering them though. I have no idea why I feel this way. I think this is another reason I struggle with asking for help -- I feel as if I am a nuisance. Which is funny because I help people all the time. It's what I do and love to do. Why can't I ask a simple question? Can you help me? I get phone call after phone call everyday and I love it. I love the feeling you get when you make someone's day better. Why can't I let someone do this for me? No clue.

This brings me to the next issue. I can't say no. Have you seen 27 Dresses? I'm kinda like Jane. I can't say it, even if I really don't wanna do something. Someone asks me to help them move: "Sure thing!"  It just comes out of my mouth. What I am actually thinking? I have so much to do that day - it's a real problem. On the flip side, I love seeing someone's face after it is all done and they didn't have to do it by themselves. But sometimes, there is too much I take on. I just feel this weight on my shoulders until all of it is done. Lately, I have been doing this. Mostly with my job.

About my job. I have a love/hate relationship with my job. I love the people, and I love the feeling after I finish a project. But, I don't like how much I have to work, how long my hours/days are, or the fact that I never get a chance to have real food. There is only so much a granola bar can do! I also don't have any free time. The only people I have seen are the few friends that have been kind enough to visit me at work and/or bring me food. Those people are angels and I appreciate them so much! I have had to work 'til the wee hours of the morning and have had friends who stay with me and talk to me. Which is nice because that place is really scary when I'm all alone at night.

In fact, last night I was finishing up (I was all by myself) and I heard voices outside. I began to panic. It's really late and NOBODY else is around in the building. Who could be out there? And the doors and building don't have windows, so I can't see. I was imagining that only weirdos or bad people would be in that parking lot. I waited, prayed, and called my parents. Well, they didn't answer and it was really late. I grabbed a box cutter (just in case) and ran to my car. Now that I think about it, this wasn't the best plan. The voices belonged to three men who were across the parking lot. I think they were from the pawn shop doing some late night stuff. They still looked "iffy." I felt completely safe though. It didn't think about how stupid I was until I got down the street. What if they were hooligans? Who knows what could have happened? I was definitely being watched over. I feel that way every time I am there all by myself. I still don't like it. Quite frankly, I don't wanna be there by myself again. That will still probably happen, though.

My job won't be like this much longer. I have two and a half weeks until I get bumped to retail and my hours dropped to part time. I am so fine with that. My life won't be so crazy!

Due to the fact that I don't get done at work until really late, I don't study. Therefore, I don't go to bed at a reasonable hour. That would explain the lovely dark circles under my eyes. I am so tired that my entire body hurts. I have actually thought about booking a massage, but when would I have the time? At 3 a.m.?  I now also have a cold -- probably from not sleeping. Oh the joys! Lots of soup for me!

I really don't hate my job. I'm just very sleepy when I get home and there is still more that I have to do that day/night/early morning. Like homework. Or showering. Hygiene is good.

I have been very negative lately. Mostly because I have been so swamped I just don't want to deal with anything else. Can you blame me?  School, work, study, maybe sleep, and repeat. That's a lot. I am hardly home. I would like to be home more because my laundry is piling up and my car is a mess. I am trying to flip my attitude around, but until I get a good night's sleep, I can't make any promises.

I also have been shutting up my thoughts and emotions. It just makes being busy easier. Less for me to handle. Although, there are some things I really need to get straight . . .

I kinda already mentioned my social life. I really want to spend time with people, maybe finally see Iron Man 3. (I am really dying to see that.)  Anyway, I miss friends. I tried making some in my classes, but those people are so weird! The conversations I have had in the past few weeks are insane. I really don't wanna relive those -- so moving on. I have tried posting on social media more just so people don't think I'm dead or something.  Me, myself, and I aren't cutting it friend-wise. Hopefully I will be less of a hermit when my job slows down.

Now I'm just sounding desperate ...

The point of this post was to let everyone know I am still here, alive, and in need of soup. It isn't all bad either. I have learned so much from the experiences I have had. In a way, I am grateful for this craziness. I know that this is a part of Heavenly Father's plan for me. Whatever that plan may be, this has something to do with it!

So if you asked any of these questions or said any of the following things;

"Jen, how much sleep are you getting?"
"Where have you been?"
"How are you holdin up?"
"I felt like I should check in on you."

It will all be over soon and please feel free to text/call me. I will probably forget to call or text you first, mainly due to my growing "To Do" list.

I love you all and thanks for your concern. I really will return to the land of the living soon.

xoxo
Jennie

Birthday Girl

So yesterday was my 19th birthday. It was wonderful. I thought it was going to suck because I had an all-day rehearsal for the show I am in, but it didn't suck one bit. My family decided it would be best to put my birthday on hold and celebrate when I would be home the next day. I agreed and went to bed preparing for the worst birthday of my life.

I got up at 6:30 am. We had recordings to do to sweeten our tracks for the show. We had to be there at 7:45 am.... needless to say I hit snooze twice and was late. I pulled the "It's my birthday" card and they sang to me and we proceeded with our day.

We moved over to the outdoor shell theater and did our very first cue to cue rehearsal. Someone brought doughnuts and suddenly my life was better. Who doesn't like doughnuts?! I was really happy to have some food in me... plus I looked really cute so I felt a lot better. People kept wishing my happy birthday and I began to cheer up. One of my dear friends even gave me one of the nicest cards I have ever received. I felt like a princess at this point. People were giving me back rubs, I could ask for anything and I would get it in seconds. The director at one point, while yelling at us in the megaphone, stopped and said "JENNIE" really loud. I looked at him and he wished me happy birthday with that Jerry Elison smile. I felt so good.

It was break time, so a ton of us went to Chili's restaurant at my request. We got there and there were 32 members of our cast there. That is more than half. I felt so loved. We all ordered our meals and I excused myself at one point to go off to the restroom. As I went back, I came around the corner to our massive table and they all started to sing happy birthday. Really loudly!  That's 32 theater people singing happy birthday -- that's quite the scene. I turned bright red and then other families began to sing to me as well! I secretly loved it. We ate our meal and I was stuffed. The bills began to be passed out. It was nearing the end when I was still expecting mine, I couldn't figure it out. I looked across the table and my friend and her husband were smiling at me and said happy birthday. They had already paid my tab.  It was so nice! I thanked them about 10 times.

So we got back and it was time to start running the show.  I walked into the shell when Lexi (probably my best friend in the show) came up to me holding a huge gift bag. I was too excited to wait to open it so I ripped it open. It was Reeses (my favorite candy) and an Iron Man T-shirt. Then another cast member came in with a cup cake from The Sweet Tooth Fairy and wished my a very happy birthday.

 Needless to say it was a glorious Birthday. Not to mention that today I celebrated with my family and got some pretty cool things. I loved it. 19 will be a good year.

Guilty Pleasures

Guilty pleasures, we all have them. I feel like I have way more then everyone else, but that is the way life is. I just felt like anyone who reads this should know more about me. This is also my favorite questions to ask people because you learn the funniest things about people.

1: Chocolate- I feel like that is a given.

2: Cafe Rio salad- I can't get enough!

3: Shopping- Every girl has this problem.

4: French Fries with ice cream.

5: Curling up in bed with my laptop and watching movies.

6: Stupid music with a good beat- This isn't everyone's cup of tea but, I can't get enough Ke$ha.

7: Snap Chat- Not the dirty kind. I think that is dumb. I like the kind where you send crazy faces to your friends. I can't stop.

8: Nachos- I love cheesy chips so much!

9: Big Bang Theory- I almost watched an entire season in one day.

10: Chick flicks- I love how stupid, predictable, and cheesy they are.

11: Dr. Pepper- I drink way too much of this!

12: Gummy Bears- I gobble those things up!

13: Pinterest- I waste a lot of time on that....

This is becoming more of a things I eat and things I waste time on blog. Lets keep going!

14: Photo Shoots- What girl doesn't like her picture to be taken.

15: Taylor Swift- I have her Red album memorized!

16: Sleeping in- This is almost a talent of mine.

17: Staying out late with friends- It makes me feel rebellious.

18: The 80's- I love everything about that time period!

19: Gym clothes- I will spend all day in those suckers.

20: Doritos- I inhale them!

I hope you enjoyed my little confession session. I have so many simple pleasures, I hope I am not alone. Until next time!

xoxo
Jennie

Well THAT Happened...

Yesterday I got into my first car wreck... I was sobbing all day about it. I really couldn't stop crying. It was so scary, I even had a nightmare about it last night.

Here is what happened:  I was on the freeway heading to Thanksgiving Point. Just driving along (I do this all the time). I was seriously almost there! I was driving in between a semi-truck on my right and a very nice white car on my left. Normally, I don't like semis, but I was alright. And I was almost there. The truck was a flatbed, 18-wheeler, carrying no cargo, and it had two long trailers hooked up to it. Normal. Until he turned on his blinker. The semi-truck wanted to change lanes into MY lane. I was right in the middle of the two trailers it had and I thought the truck could see me. I sped up a tiny bit just to make sure. He didn't see me. The big semi-truck was changing lanes and headed right for me. I looked to my right and all I saw was a trailer headed straight to crush my car. I had nowhere to go, honestly. I swerved and briefly had contact with another car (I hit the car to my left). It was enough force to shatter my mirror on my side of the car. My window was down  so a piece of glass flew into my car. I still haven't found that. I tried so hard to not let the car fly out of control, and I didn't lose control! It wasn't until I hit the other car that the semi-truck noticed me and swerved back into his original lane. That all happened within about 3 to 5 seconds, maybe less.

I started shaking severely, and crying, and praying. Too much was happening, and it didn't feel real. The white car pulled in front of me and I followed him to a parking lot off the nearest exit. I got out and saw all the damage that that blasted semi-truck had cost us. The other car had a dent where my mirror hit and a nice, thick green streak all the way down the side of the car where we collided, and a few other scratches too. My mirror was shattered and I had a lack of paint where the white car and my car hit. I also had a crack in the driver's door from impact, not to mention there was a chunk of my hub cap missing. I called my dad and asked where the papers were and what I needed. I talked to the man, he was nice about it but I could tell he was mad. Who wouldn't be? Oh, I am still crying... He called the police and we waited. We both took pictures and sat in our cars talking to people on our phones. The police showed up and asked what happened. I told them exactly what happened. They took our information and gave us paperwork to fill out and give our statements. They asked me to draw on the back what happened, so I did. I was still crying and shaking, There was no way I could drive so I called my mom. My mom grabbed my brother and they set out to find me. The hard part is I had no idea where I was - it was some random exit between home and where I was going. I gave them a building I was near, and twenty minutes later there they were. The police gave me a paper to give to my insurance company and he said I was good to go. The other guy left, the police left, my brother left, and then my mom and I were on our way.

Side note: When I say crying I didn't mean bawling. I mean some tears streaming down my face and my eyes were puffy, but you could understand me. I was clearly shaken up

But wait, there is more!

After my thing at Thanksgiving Point we noticed my car was knocked out of alignment and shook at high speeds, so we decided to take a different way home that didn't include the freeway. We were up by point of the mountain and that thing is all sand and we all know it. Did anyone notice that yesterday was very dusty in the valley? Well up by point of the mountain, the wind was turning the loose sand into a small sand storm. In parts of the road we couldn't see through it. We turned on our headlights and slowed down to about 15 mph. We couldn't see a thing! Out of the blue we see something flying right at our car! At first it looked like a cardboard box, then in looked like a giant trash bin. All I knew is something big was headed for the passenger side door... We cringed as this heavy thing hit the car, and took out the other side mirror! I looked out my window to see what it was - it read "Port-A-John." My mom and I couldn't help but laugh about this. We were just hit by a flying Port-A-Potty. It was a stress-filled day and that was the last straw. We were laughing so hard because we needed it, and let's be real here, it was hilarious! We got home and checked out our maimed car, half wondering if the potty left a huge dent, and the other half wondering if we just drove home with crap smeared all over the car. Neither had happened, thank goodness! We were out our second side view mirror. Oh well, we weren't hurt and the car still ran!

After it all happened I was talking with my mom. We decided things could have been a whole lot worse. If I hadn't have swerved the semi would have hit me and my car probably would have spun out and created a huge pileup involving who knows how many other cars. At those high speeds I could have also lost control of the car. I could have lost my life. The car could have been totaled. And a lot of other people could have been involved. But it didn't happen. I have a lot to be thankful for and I know I was being looked after.

xoxo
Jennie

The Not IT Girl

I caved and decided to join the blogging world. I think it might be fun.

Here is a little about myself: I hate spiders and bad drivers. I kinda hate being a "grown up" or whatever it is that I am.  When I crave food I need it then and there (bless my future husband when I am preggers). Most of all about me, check the title of my blog:  I'm a "not it" girl.  Well, I had lots of friends. But I have never cared about this stuff. I hardly care what I look like, what my hair is doing, or what people think of me. Sure, I don't want to look like a homeless person, but I live in t-shirts and my camo pants. I wear my shoes into the ground and my hoodies 'til they have holes in them. If it's not broken, why fix it?

Until next time!

xoxo
Jennie